Date Submitted:
03/18/2011 04:05 AM
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1681/ 7
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Absolutely Not

“It won’t happen. I’ll never do that,” I firmly stated. It was dark out, a cold fall evening that fit my mood perfectly. With arms crossed, feet planted and a scowl on my face, I continued, “What makes you think you could change my mind? You know how I feel about it. You know I hate the idea with everything in me. I’ll never change, not for you or anyone else.”
I raced home, my heart pounding the entire way. When I finally arrived, I marched straight to my room, knocking a few things over in my wake. The phone rang. It rang again, and I blinked to clear my head. I turned as it rang a third time, but my thoughts were still scattered. When I finally picked up the receiver, there was only a dial-tone, so I quietly hung up. What had I done? I didn’t want to lapse into silence, since it would give me too much time to think, but it was hopeless. I sank into my chair and let my mind wander. It wandered to the past, of course.
Growing up, I was enamored with the idea of it.   Of course, I had various notions as to what it involved, but the idea of marriage was exciting and a bit scary. You can imagine the kinds of things running through a child’s head when it came to the “grown-up” topic. With television shows like The Cosby Show, Growing Pains, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch and others, I thought I had it pretty much figured out. How hard could it be? Husbands went to work from nine to five. Wives stayed home to take care of the children and the housekeeping duties. When the husband came home, the wife and kids were there to greet him. Dinner was ready, homework was done, and everything was in its place. It was happy and perfect and that is what I wanted more than anything.
I’m not sure what it was that changed me and my outlook on life in general and my attitude toward marriage. Was it the transition from junior high to high school? Was it my parents’ nasty divorce? Was it just plain growing up? Over the years, I had gone through many relationships and when they came to…

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