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"How To Buy Girls (in Latin America)" is based on the real adventures of Don Juan of the Naughty Girls, an American who spent nearly 9 years there (and counting). All of it is true and sincere, and is NOT a parody or for amusement. Whether you agree or disagree with what's contained in it is irrelevant. The author believes in everything he wrote, and it IS based on real experiences. Probably its content will appeal mostly to men from the United States or Canada, but anyone who is interested is invited to read it. (or if you're a woman, be amazed and exasperated by it.)
The Last Straw ---
That was the last straw. July 8th, 2005, Mexico City. La zona rosa. And that's why I'm writing this. I had gone there thinking it would be like other Latin American cities, but unfortunately its sex clubs are modelled after American strip clubs. You know the kind I mean -- at the entrance you're confronted by these stupid thug-like men in dark formal suits. They practically drag you to a table. After you sit down, a greedy bimbo does her stupid lap-dance on you, all the time asking you for more money, and for more money, and for more money... And of course she won't have sex with you. She never will. She's not a prostitute.
Unless prostitution is legalized, and monitored in some non-obtrusive way, the adult "entertainment" industry will continue to be run be organized crime, the mafia, and low-lifes. I mean LOW low-lifes. (lower than animals, of course) These people don't give a shit who you are, where you're from, where you're going, or anything else about you. They just want to take your money, and for you to fuck off.
But you don't have to be a part of that. You can have sex with a pretty girl, not pay too much for it, and not waste any time. It's just a matter of navigating around the shit (for example American-style "sex" clubs or strip clubs) and finding the right place, run by decent, honest people. And the sex is real.
Where?
Well, as you probably know, simple sex with a prostitute in the United States is not possible. Prostitution is not only technically illegal, it IS illegal. (People apply the law.) This gives you absolutely no protection if someone steals from you, in any number of ways. (for example, promising you something and not delivering it) Not even Miami, Florida, with all of its Latinos, is any good to buy sex --- unless you happen to be good friends with a Latino pimp (chulo). The reason is simple. The women don't trust anyone who isn't Latino. They think you are the police and are going to arrest them, so the profession is very closed. It's pathetic.
But why should you have to go through some ASSHOLE every time you want to have sex with a woman? What kind of FREE WILL would you have?
Another danger is that the police often infiltrate the profession, and then you can be arrested for your own "pursuit of happiness". (How ironic: That phrase comes from the U.S. Declaration of Independence.)
Anyway, the point is that the sexuality of the United States is too warped and probably unfixable. (They had 400 years, and it's still shit.) So leave it. Don't even try to buy sex there. Look south. FAR south. Mexico, because it is adjacent to the United States, is already too polluted by the perverse sexuality of the United States to be much use. So skip it. (Sure, Mexico is great if all you want is tourism. It's a beautiful, interesting country. But for buying girls, well, it's possibly the worst country in Latin America to do so.)
Pick a medium to large-size city, and avoid pueblos (small towns) and popular tourist destinations -- the women charge too much in these places. Start from, say, Guatemala, all the way down to the tip of Patagonia (southern Argentina and Chile). Here you will find true, pure, beautiful sex. The way it was meant to be. Sure, there will still be good places and not-so-good places (and maybe even some shit-clubs). But there ARE places where you can have sex. The real thing.
How to find the best clubs, bars, prostibulos, quintas, "hotels" ---
Believe it or not, the best person to ask is a taxicab driver. They know the area, and they know where people go. Another person who may know is the handyman in the hotel where you're staying, or a tour guide. They can take you around town and show you the best clubs, bars, etc.
If some clown/asshole comes up to you in the street (like in la zona rosa, Mexico City), kindly tell him to get lost. He's working for some shit-club that he wants to push on you. And the club IS shit. I've seen them first-hand.
If you're ready to buy ---
Only pick a good place, not a bad place. Here are some guidelines:
The place should be sufficiently illuminated to SEE the girls.
The music should not be too loud. What's the point of you and her screaming at each other? If you can't hear what she's saying to you, that's a disadvantage.
Avoid clubs that charge a cover charge. They often have other things up their sleeve, like charging you a high fee to leave with the girl and forcing you buy a bottle of champagne. (Some clubs will do this if you want to spend a second hour with the girl.) If you find yourself in a club like this, buy a drink, talk to a girl, then get her phone # and call her another day and meet her elsewhere. Then it's just you and her, instead of you, her, and a big, obnoxious, pretentious, stupid club filled with idiot-thugs.
Generally, the smaller, more intimate the place, the better.
Another convenience is if the place has connecting hotel rooms with running hot water (shower) and bathroom. Clubs often do not. Hotels, quintas and prostibulos usually do.
It never hurts to ask about these things at the door. If they don't tell you enough, just walk away. The very least they should do is let you look at the girls and one of the rooms. If you remain there, your only obligation is to buy one drink.
When you're with the girl ---
The warming up period is very important but only takes a few minutes. Talk to the girl. Tell her what you would like and ask how much it would cost. (A little Spanish or Portuguese is useful to know.) If she says, "Let's not talk about this here, only when we're in the room", don't buy her. She will only do what she wants to do, and you will have a lousy time with her. If the woman isn't straight with you, don't give her the benefit of a doubt.
OK, so if the girl is agreeable, acts reasonably normal, and talks to you openly... she's probably your dream come true --- Do it!
The cost of the girl, mandatory drinks (usually 3) and room for an hour should be no more than $75-125 total. Yes, I said TOTAL. (The waiter can write all of this down for you on a piece of paper.) If it's a lot more than this, you have the option of paying for your drink and then leaving.
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Memorize the exchange rate for the currency you're using so you know what things really cost. Pay for things only in the currency of the country you're visiting; not, for example, in US dollars.
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Common Sense Precautions ---
If you're having sex with the woman's lower half, always wear a condom. ALWAYS, without exception. A girl in these countries can easily buy a certificate of health from a clinic. Yes, I said BUY. And it's completely bogus. The incubation period for HIV is 6 months, so even if a legitimate test is done, it's only legitimate if done after 6 months of protected sex. You really have to KNOW a woman to be sure of that -- that she's only with you, etc.
Better to be safe. Use it.
To keep condoms in good condition, don't carry them around with you all the time in your wallet. Keep them stored in a cool, dark place until you're ready to use them.
Eating a girl's pussy can be risky because she may have herpes and not know it. If she says she feels discomfort or aching in her vagina, it's better to not stick your tongue in it. Herpes can manifest internally as well as externally, and can be transmitted directly to your mouth.
When in doubt, or if you have further questions, call your doctor and the national AIDS hotline (an 800 # in the U.S.)
After you're with the girl ---
If she did everything you like and treated you well, tip her. This could be anything from 10% to 30%. If you take her phone number and see her again, you shouldn't have to pay for every hour but just a general amount -- say $100-250 for several hours; $140-325 for all night; and $175- 400 for a whole weekend. Of course, the more she likes you, the less you have to pay. It also helps if you look decent: shave, keep clean, have good oral hygiene, and dress decently. (You don't need a suit, but you shouldn't look like you just stepped out of a garbage can either.)
Be nice ---
Don't discuss personal information about the girls you buy with other people. Just as you wouldn't do this with a "normal" girl you know down the street, so it isn't good to do so with a prostitute you're seeing. I remember visiting a friend once. On his table was a photo of a girl sitting at the beach. This friend told me a friend of his left it there, referring to the girl as a "beach cunt". To me, this kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable. If a girl treats you nicely and does things that make you feel a lot better than before you saw her, then show some gratitude and don't be an insensitive clod. She deserves, at least, respect for her privacy. (even if she isn't a great prostitute)
If you were cheated (in Latin America) ---
Although it unlikely in these countries (unless you're in Mexico), if it happens there IS a remedy.
After you leave the club, go up to the nearest police officer and explain the situation to him -- that the club/girl promised you something and didn't deliver, and that they have your money. Police in these countries (probably Mexico too) tend to be in favor of tourists and don't like the idea of their own stealing from people.
You can then enter the club/bar with the police officer and he will talk to the manager. You will probably get all or most of your money back. In addition, the bar will probably be "fined" (i.e. have to pay a bribe to the officer) and the girl may even be kicked out of the club.
The feeling of satisfaction is great having done this, and it holds these places accountable for their behavior. I've tried it and it works.
Remember, no one has the right to lie to you and take your money. Hold their own dirty underwear up to their noses and make them smell it. How do they like it?
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NOTE: Always carry a photocopy of your passport in your wallet at all times when visiting a foreign country. Without an identity you have no rights.
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Are there aliens among us?
Other signs that the girl may be a disappointment:
She has a glassy haze over her eyes.
She avoids eye contact with you, constantly looking around the room.
She's cold.
Her conversation seems artificial and lacks spontaneity.
She doesn't seem to connect with you at all ....
Maybe she's an alien! (Or just as bad, a robot built buy an alien: a cyborg -- I've heard they're very dangerous.)
No, just kidding!
But maybe there's some truth to what I'm saying... I mean, think about it. If aliens wanted to infiltrate the human race, what could be a better cover than to be posing as a prostitute in a bar? Men tend to really OPEN UP to a woman they're having sex with. They tell A LOT of things to a prostitute. That could be a lot of useful data on the human race... (And she/it doesn't have to be a great actress either.)
Well, the point is not whether some prostitutes are aliens/cyborgs or not, it's if they act like they are, you'll probably have a lousy time with them -- unless you find having sex with a rubber doll with no personality exciting. Go buy her then.
Girls on the streets (in Latin America) ---
Girls on the streets tend to be really down and out. They can be sick, runaways, drug addicts, or worse -- a robber pretending to be a prostitute. Once they get in a room with you, they can rob your pants when you're in the shower, break a bottle and threaten you with that, use a knife from the kitchen, etc. ... NEVER just grab a girl from the street (or even a regular bar/nightclub) and go directly into your hotel room. It's better to talk to her a little bit first, as I said in a previous section. If the girl seems to be of reasonable mind, try to take her to a hotel where they require an ID from each of you in order to check in. If she does that, you probably won't have any problems.
Another problem with girls on the street is that they are often minors (otherwise, they would be working in a bar, etc. where it is safer for them and for you). The problem with buying a minor is if you want to see them again (i.e. associate with them) it could bring with it a lot of problems. Sure, all the girls TELL you they're 18, but without seeing an ID how do you know?
Agencies (in Latin America) ---
Not recommended. For one thing, you can't really see what the girl looks like from the image on the computer screen. Their faces are blocked out. (or not at all, if it's just a phone # from an ad) Another problem is that they have very erratic schedules; show up late; charge too much; and then there's the double-life thing. Sure, prostitutes do have a double life -- their mother and father probably don't know they're selling it. But agency girls have BIG double lives -- like they're married and have kids and their HUSBAND doesn't know they're selling it. These women tend to be icy and really don't want any kind of involvement with their customers. They're just more of a pain-in-the-ass, and not much fun to be with.
Better to buy girls the simple way. You see them, they see you, you talk, and it happens.
Other precautions ---
If a girl you're spending time with asks for a large sum of money, be careful. She'll say something like -- "I need it to enroll in school," or "I have to go to the doctor for...", or "I want to start a business" ... ! The school thing is an easy trick. They just don't enroll in school, and use the money for something else. If you think there may be a legitimate medical problem and you want to help, offer to take her to your doctor, or ACCOMPANY her to a doctor/clinic that's well recommended. The thing about a business -- well, if you take that risk you better know what you're getting into. The girl will probably just use the money for something else, or her "business" will be short-lived and a bad investment. It's always good to FOLLOW any extra money you give her to see what it's actually being used for. (If she wants a new stove, washing machine, etc., buy it for her.)
A sad note of truth: Latinos are incredible liars. (My primary source for this was northern South America.) Not all, of course, but many are exceptionally good at it. If you studied your whole life how to be liar, you wouldn't be as good as them. It's in their blood. Be careful what you believe, it's safer that way!
In summary ---
You CAN buy a pretty girl. You don't have to be rich or famous. It doesn't matter what you look like, and it doesn't matter what your age is.
It's just a matter of finding the real, legitimate places with real prostitutes, and avoiding the fake "sex" clubs filled with fake women.
If you're not already having sex with a girl within 10 MINUTES of entering the door of a place, just turn around, walk out, and DON'T COME BACK. Not even for a drink.
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