Paris

Paris
No other nation has been subject to as much mockery as the nation of France. The American people seem to take pleasure in The only way to determine whether these allegations are true or not is to visit the nation’s capital, Paris.
Obtaining a passport involves several steps. First one must complete the application form found online. Take your application along with a passport photo which can be taken at Kinko’s for a small fee to any of the post offices, clerks of court, public libraries and other state, county, township, and municipal government offices that are designated to accept passport applications. Include a $97 fee and expect your passport in 8 weeks. For my endeavor, I will be keeping my passport hidden. No Parisian need know that I am from the States. The only use that my passport will serve in Paris is if in the off chance that I get taken as a hostage. Then I’ll be forced to flash my passport and be on my way. No criminal in his or her right minds would want to be involved with the American government in a hostage situation. Booyah.
Because Paris is a relatively temperate city with highs averaging 76 °F and lows at around 60 °F in August I should be prepared for the occasional chill. But that is irrelevant. France is the style capital of the world; it is imperative that I dress in such a manner. Therefore my wardrobe shall include horizontally striped long sleeve shirts, an assortment of dark toned berets, red scarves, and tight black jeans. I won’t be bringing any razors. Instead I will maintain a constant 5 o’clock shadow except over the upper lip where a glorious handlebar mustache will rest. The mustache will require a pouch of mustache wax and other such maintenance products. Salvador Dali is indeed my role model. I will not require a dictionary because as I’ve heard most Parisians speak English if necessary, even though it annoys them. If that isn’t enough my five years of French schooling has made me proficient in bad French. I’ve...