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Can¡¯t We All Just Get Along: A Proposal for Peace
Based on ¡°A Modest Proposal¡±
There is a grave national crisis occurring all across the nation. Children everywhere are committing acts of hostility in their schools. Schools are no longer a safe haven for children but are now considered war zones where victims are abundant and violence is the enemy. Fifty-seven percent of public elementary and secondary school principals reported that one or more incidents of crime or violence occurred in their schools and were reported to law enforcement officials. Ten percent of all public schools experienced one or more serious violent crimes. Some 6,093 students were expelled during the 1996-1997 academic school year for bringing firearms or explosives to school. Students ages twelve through eighteen were victims of more than 2.7 million total crimes at school as indicated in the School Crime and Safety 2000 Report by U.S. Department of Education and U.S. Department of Justice, 2000.
Factors contributing to school violence are numerous, complex, and include the following: poverty, dysfunctional families, lack of paternal involvement, unemployment, truancy, and inner-city environment. Adequate parental supervision and control of these students has weakened, and many students have diminished respect for all forms of authority. As a result, schools are confronted with problems of students possessing weapons, involved with gang recruitment and rivalry, and engaged in drug trafficking. Such problems lead to violent acts in and around schools.
I intend to end these ridiculous horrors that are becoming so common. There is but one solution to combat these tragedies that affect so many people all over America. It is a simple and modest proposal that no one can refuse. Since parents are obviously the problem, they must be removed from the equation. After every child has reached the age of four, the parents will be forced to hand their son or daughter over to the state. The children will live at a public school, and the parents will continue to work in order to financially support their children. They will be allowed to visit on regular designated times. Children will begin to live with their parents after thorough psychological and financial screenings which will begin no sooner than when the child reaches the age of eighteen years. This plan will take effect in the year 2003. A plan as simple and powerful as this should begin after I graduate from Papillion LaVista High School.
The benefits ultimately outweigh the effects. Forget about school violence! That only scratches the surface of the plethora of benefits that would abound from this solution. It goes far beyond that. Seventy-five percent of students will no longer complain about their parents. In fact, they will actually miss them dearly. Think of how child abuse rates will dramatically decrease if not disappear all together. Parents and children will no longer take each other for granted but cherish every waking moment with each other. Peace will evolve among all relationships, and life will more pleasant for everyone directly or indirectly involved.
Think of the money that would be saved by everyone. Parents would be paying the bare minimum fee to feed, clothe, and educate their children. They would also be able to actually enjoy their late twenties and early thirties before claiming any responsibilities. They will have a 40% increase in available income that they can spend on a better education or a home. This extra income would benefit for a sluggish economy like the one we have now. Medical treatment would become 14% more efficient because of the lack of patients from the aftermath of school violence. Police officer and fire rescuers would have better response times by at least 17.89 seconds. Legal fees would decrease dramatically by 27% because of the lack of people to sue or prosecute. The entire juvenile court system would be nonexistent. The horrors of teenage driving would not be an issue of concern since they will be living in the school at all times, and insurance premiums would decline sharply.
The most efficient and effective programs for developing safe schools are those that emphasize prevention, positive alternatives, the development of social skills, and recognition of socially competent behavior. At the local level, the schools should promote discipline, self-esteem, and extra-curricular activities. Resources for parents should become more readily available. Involvement of parents with their children is crucial for the development of every child and should be encouraged.
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